Stay Positive: Previous experiences with mild depression. Expect strong language, dark humour and the occasional outdated opinion.
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To sum it up as concisely as possible, there have been a couple of big losses that have happened at different times of my life. As someone who tends to over-analyse things to the extreme, it’s made me go into a mental overdrive.
Everyone deals with loss in different ways, and for that reason I can’t compare and contrast - nor would I want to. My particular way was to try and figure it all out myself, which has led to me twice going to counselling. Once in 2004, and again in 2009.
The two occasions where counselling has been needed, I’ve had an additional series of unconnected events come to an end in a short space of time, meaning that there is far too much to deal with in my head whilst still dealing with the ‘big’ loss.
It’s a bit like the ‘keeping the spinning plates going’ analogy that is quite often used in situations like these - just without the ‘Generation Game’ cameo appearances.
If you took a snapshot of the inner workings of my head in both 2004 and during this year, you would’ve probably seen something similar to the obligatory ‘machine in overdrive’ setting, with pistons roaring, steam aplenty, and dials off the charts.
While in 2004, it was a case of dealing with a lot of sadness and sorrow, the current spell feels a bit more…technical. Like there’s been a technical fault in a circuit board, lots of things have to be moved about to find it, and a new part has to be shipped in from Taiwan.
So, my weekly sessions currently consist of ordering said piece from Taiwan and keeping track of its progress, whilst oiling up the dormant pistons and giving the whole engine a thorough service whilst we hurry along the delivery company.
How are all of these hackneyed analogies working for you?